All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies

Being single, is okay it is not the end of the world!

Please don't think of yourselves as ugly, pathetic or desperate. Sometimes all we want is to find someone who is serious and start a family. At least that's what I want.

Earlier this month I went home for our annual pumpkin painting party. While I was there we all talked about how the little ones are growing up quickly and how my brother and I are also. Then came the part on how once the little ones hit double digits I will start to find someone, get married and start having babies of my own. Then my aunt said "you need to get married so I can go to a dance."

Crazy right? I'm only 18 and they are talking about marriage and kids, ALREADY! I told my friends about this conversation and my answer back was "well, I'm trying, but I'm a potato."

(Can we just take a minute to say that that is my favorite line ever, I even have my friends saying it too now.)

Anyways my whole life I imagined how in College I would find the perfect guy for me who would help complete me. Turns out I was wrong, I went to church earlier this month and heard the Pastor talk about how so often we seek for people who will complete us when we just need someone to help us. We should not ask to be completed by someone, because God will complete us. Instead we should ask God for someone who will help us.
Many times this semester I have heard my friends talk about which guy they are with now, and that they are too cool because they have a lot of guys fawning over them. Meanwhile I am sitting and just eating my pizza, and have plenty of times been mad at them bragging over their guys. I have come to terms that I shouldn't. Why should I be sad and wanting a boyfriend when all of my friends have these guys and all they do is hurt them, or in turn get hurt themselves. What good is that? Instead I should focus on myself, I should focus on letting God complete me to where when I am ready for a relationship God will finally send him my way.
I have always been about 8-10 years younger than my cousins, and one of them had a child at about 19-20 but his older brother has yet to have a child. My aunts have plenty of times told him he needs to settle down. Plenty of times. I have just been told that once, and I freaked out. I am only 18 and they are telling me that I need to get married and start my family, like now. Earlier this month my friend,K, and I went to eat with her friend from home. Her friend was a wife, and mother, as well as expecting and she was successful and looked like she had her life together. She's about 10 years older than me, the same age as my cousin. 10 years older, yet my family is wanting me to start now.
Sure I got mad at my family for expecting that of me, because I have been trying my hardest these past months in College but then I realized that when both, me and my future husband are ready we will meet one another. I saw someone write a post saying that we younger people need to pray for our future husbands and kids every once in a while. So while my friends are "living in the moment" and testing guy after guy I will continue to be the little flower I am and watch movies and eat pizza, while I pray for my future husband to not be doing what my friends are doing and hopefully for us to have some beautiful and amazing children. I will pray that he is also praying for me, and that one day we will both have our lives together and that by that time we will meet one another, and instead of completing one another we will instead help one another in spreading the word of God as well as helping each other will our everyday lives.
If you happen to be single and you are about 16-24, it is totally okay. K is 21 and she does not have a boyfriend, I mean she does have a guy at home who I am sure they will get married (of course that's a different matter) but she's not stressing. Her mother is pressuring her to find a soulmate because she's 21 but she's not. Why? Perhaps because all the guys here are immature, or are just wanting one thing, sex. Now if those guys are wanting that they they can go elsewhere, because I know a lot of girls who are wiling to do that, but my friend and I are not. Perhaps that is why we are both single, but I believe that if a guy and I are destined to be together, he won't want that, and also God will have me be ready for him and that won't be necessary until our Married days. So if you are single don't worry, because you have your priorities straight and you should focus on yourself and your goals before you think about dating anyone anyways. So to child of God that wishes and hopes that the guy in your class takes another glance at you, remember it's okay not to have a guy. It's okay to focus on your self and for the time being be without a guy.
"Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say… "There she is"…"
"You are a daughter of the KING. You are worth more than you know. A man is going to give you the world, please don't settle for less." 

Dream ~BIG~LITTLE~ One

In my earlier post about initiation I realized I mentioned, my big, twiddle and littles and I totally forgot to put a post about big/little reveal.

[Us waiting to go inside the building.]

What is big/little reveal exactly? Well at the beginning of the year we wrote who we wanted to be our big and then once that decision was made we have a whole week of our bigs kind of spoiling us. Now what is a big, you ask. A big is an older member of the sorority who takes you under her wing and is your helper and someone who can just be there for you anytime of the day.

(In order from left to right; Me, D, K.V, A., and K.N.)

The night after meeting our bigs gave us our favorite snack. The night before the meeting one of the girls asked me my favorite snacks. Nothing could come to mind so I was thinking and asked my best friend from home, as well as my mom. Of course they came in clutch. I only told her I liked paydays, and chex mix, when I opened the bag I found sprite and Hershey's drops. My big knew me so well without me having to tell her, SCORE!

So the first day my big gave me our letters, she painted them in pink and gold with flowers, and I think this is my favorite gift she gave me. I could tell she worked really hard on it. I absolutely love them!

The second day she gave me our creed. During this time most of us littles try and figure out bigs out so we can know who they are and spend time with them earlier than the big/little reveal day. Our bigs know this and the whole week I tried to compare my bigs handwriting with others seeing if anyones matched as well as if any of the older members wrote me anything to compare their handwriting also.

The third day my big gave me a bunch of pink things. A pink spiral, a pink pencil, a pink flashlight, pink gum, pink Chapstick, pink notecards, pink socks, pink fake flowers, pink starbursts, a pink L, pink hang pins, pink fluffy balls, and pink glitter. I commented "How could I use this?" referring to the glitter when one of the girls stated "You could use that as fairy dust!" and I said "I could be Tinker Bell with these fluffy balls also!" This was the last day before our official meeting of big little.

Since this was the last day before knowing who are big was everyone kept asking one another who do you think your big is?

I'll tell you my thought process. I thought my big was G because her best friend is the one that asked me what my favorite snack was. Then every time we did something at the sorority she would either  talk to me or stare, and not in the rude sense. But I also thought it was M because the first letter my big wrote me was "I loved you since day 1." M interviewed me throughout rush week so I thought perhaps she was my big. Then I also thought it was B, the girl who asked me my favorite snack, because my friend G.D got the same flashlight as me, just orange. Also that night G texted me asking my favorite disney movie, or favorite tv show. I thought it was ironic because G was there when I said I could be tinker bell and my big knew my love for disney. That is partially why I thought she was my big. So that's what I told people. I didn't know who exactly would be my big tell the next day.

(K and I)

It was finally the next day. It was the day we got to find out who are big was. We had a meeting before that, just the new members did it. Once the meeting was over we would then finish and have enough time to get ready to where we can look cute for pictures. Once it was 30 minutes to the reveal we all pilled in A's car and drove to the building. It had to be planned out very strategically so none of us could know who our big is. This was the last day for presents, so presents were lined up all over the room. Just my luck, I was first. In my basket my big had made me canvas' which made me really happy because I LOVE canvas' and my dorm needs a little decorating. The first Canvas is Dream Big Little 1. the second is our sorority with an infinite sign saying big little on either side. Then the second and third Canvas are my favorite. The third one says "Darling it's Better Wearing These Letters." And it has some fish on it, I didn't tell her my favorite movie was Little Mermaid but yet she made it. It made me really happy that she made it. The fourth one, and my all time favorite; says Once Upon a Time. It is colored really pretty brown with goldfish colors. My favorite tv show is Once Upon A Time with all the fairy tale characters. I am so in love with this one, she told me she did it the night before. It looks so awesome that it was planned way before. The next thing she gave me is a blackboard with ladybugs all over it. Also she gave me a cup that is big enough that cereal can fit as well as a drinking bowl. She also gave me a mason jar cup with skittles filled into it. Also some lotion, a picture frame that our picture is suppose to go into. A tiny Lion, because that is my favorite animal some fuzzy socks, and a pearl necklace with a flower headband. Also some fake flowers and an L Canvas letter with flower fabric onto. Lastly our big/little shirts were in the bowl cup and it is pink with little on the side and angel wings on the back.

(The front of the shirt.)

(The back of the shirt.)

Then once everyone opened their presents from their big it was time to find out who are bigs were. We had to go out into the next room while all the bigs were figuring out what to do. My big, whoever she is, asked me the night before what my favorite song is. I said fight song. That's how we had to find our big, we walked outside and there were a bunch of cars everywhere music being blasted from all different directions and you had to listen for the song your big was playing. Before we went out we had a piece of paper that was the lyrics for the song she played for us. It was finally my turn, and I walked out and was listening for Fight Song. Then I heard it, I ran as fast as I could to the car and in the drivers side is G. My BIG! If you guessed her, then you guessed right! It was G. We hugged and went back inside and took a bunch of pictures!

(My big and I)

Now for family terms. I have a big, G, she has a twiddle K (kind of like a twin but we say twiddle), her twiddle has twiddles D, and A. I have a G-Big C., and we have somewhat of a lot of cousins but our family is the middle size family. There is one family that makes up majority of the sorority.

(From left to right: [light purple] K, B, L. [dark purple] B, A, G, F, [dark purple] K, A, D, C, [pink] G.)

What was funny is when my big texted me the night before asking all of my favorite things I said "you're welcome big" and she had told me that she wasn't. After I found out she was she told me how nervous she was and she was freaking out panicking because I called her big already. She still tells me that story and every time I laugh. I already love my family and I can't wait to grow with these girls and I defiantly can't wait until I'm a big and will impact someone's life like mine has to me.

"Your vibe attracts your tribe." 

Initation

So at the beginning of this month I finally got initiated in the sorority. Crazy right? I think so too! The one thing I absolutely love about my sorority is our photogenic selves. Once everything was said and done we obviously had to take pictures! Family pictures, pictures to signify the day, and everything in-between! Now if you know me, I LOVE PICTURES! Last year for Senior English our project every six weeks was to make 6 scrapbook pages over what happened in those 6 weeks. Easiest thing for me because I was always taking pictures, even at the smallest of things. My two best friends in the sorority, A and K.N have found out just how much I love pictures really early in the semester.

Neither one of them prefer pictures but they suck it up to make me happy and will take pictures with me anyways. A had work though, and she was my ride home. What happened? The whole time my big wanted family pictures with her twiddle and her twiddles littles as well as me. I had to wait for all of them, so while I was I took many random pictures with everyone. I remember A kept coming in the building to get me and every time I was in a different place, with a different person taking pictures. I could tell she was getting mad and I said "okay hold on let me get my stuff."

At that time K.V approached me saying "Why is she wanting you to leave now?" And I said how she had work and K.V said "oh I can take you home". Problem solved which meant more time for me to take pictures, so I ran out of the building to get my stuff from A's car and while doing that I said "Hold on don't take anymore pictures. I am so in love with all these pictures, DON'T JUDGE ME AND MY PHOTOGENIC SELF." After that I got a bunch of laughs and then once back in the building everyone said "oh there you are" like they didn't hear me scream to wait. All in all that day was extremely fun and I love taking many pictures with my amazing, and official, sisters.

(The day we got our certificates)

"Give a girl the right pair of shoes, and she can conquer the world. Give a girl a bid, and she will not have to do it alone." 

Reunited and it feels so good

Earlier last week my mom and brother came to visit on tuesday to be exact. Why? They missed me, why you may ask. I have not gone home for two whole months, give or take a week. This has been the longest I have not seen my family for. I was kind of mad that they came though because I wanted to surprise them that thursday by going home and surprising them. Oh well ce la vi. They came on a tuesday which is one of the busiest days for me, but somewhat an easy day. I have a busy but easy schedule because those classes are always pretty easy and laid back. I went to English (my first class that day) but left half way because we were discussing a paper I already knew how to do.

Funny story about me leaving. So I was just going to that class to hand my friend my math homework so she could turn in for me. I called my mom saying I will stay in English so I could ask about to paper, well then I realized my mom would be there in 30 minutes and class hasn't even started. She would be waiting for an hour and 15 minutes. So I left. Or so I thought, I walked out of class, and here comes my professor. Oh great. I told him that I couldn't go to class, but of course the little scary cat I am I went back to class. I felt so sick because I was torn between leaving class because my mom texted she was there, or stay and have my family wait doing nothing. I told my friend and she repeatedly told me "Leave! Just go you miss them." So I did. I handed her my backpack and she slide it down to the girl behind her and she slide it to the table behind her and I left and grabbed my bag really smooth and ninja like. 

The whole time they were here we just drove around trying to find a place to eat at. Finally we saw a Chinese restaurant and went to eat there. It has been so long since I have eaten anything besides Ramen, noodles, and our cafeteria food. When it was time for them to go I was sad because I only spent less than 5 hours with them. I was happy that I would be going home that weekend though.

Once class ended thursday I ran towards my car and was off. Class doesn't start until 11 so before I went to class I dropped my stuff off. Since class ended about 4:15 and I had to make a pit stop to my room to grab a jacket and make a potty break it was about 5 when I officially left campus and the town. Now to my hometown. When I finally got home it was about 6:30, and my amazing grandmother made some Korean food for me. Boy oh boy have I missed it. 

Going home I was introduced to a new member, a small new puppy. The only problem with this new puppy is, I have not ever been home since that dog has been there. The dog didn't know me so when she saw me she barked and screamed. We can strongly say the dog doesn't like me, which I told her that I was there first and am the ultimate Princess but she still refuses to like me. 

The next day I spent with my mother and grandmother as well as studied a bunch. Then we went to my moms best friends sons football game. Good thing for us that it was such a small town game we didn't have to go outside, instead we stayed in the warm car cheering for the team.

Saturday night we had a family dinner with my cousins and my aunt and uncle. They came because I was in town and we got Korean food again. I had such a fun time that night because my brother downloaded some app that makes it seem like your in a space ship with someone and you yell orders at one another and do it. The whole rest of the night everyone was yelling orders and the funny times is where there was a wormhole so you had to flip the phone. You would hear them yelling orders then "wormhole FLIP!" It was so funny chaos then a moment of silence to flip then chaos again.

Its crazy how old I am getting, while there my cousins were trying to guess my age and said I was 20. I literally flipped at that. I am getting old, but I am also growing. I am thankful for the moments I can get with my family and to make crazy memories with them. I'm thankful to be away from home so I can learn how to adult on my own as well as let me learn what it is like to miss my family and want to always be around them.

"Family a link to the past, and a bridge to the future." 

"Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind." 

Trick or Treat

Halloween time, is one of my least favorite holidays. I love seeing little kids in costumes showing off their favorite character from a movie or something creative, but I am not a fan of the people showing off scary costumes. Nor am I a fan of halloween movies, shows or scary movies in general.This year was the first year I was not home to celebrate halloween. This year I was on campus and they had a trunk or treat thing with all different organizations. My favorite thing was seeing all the cute little kids dressed up and coming around to play our game, bowling. I remember being that young and getting excited to play games and get free candy for it. Although we had a trunk or treat at church and there was thing cake walk and I played several times to where I got many desserts… There was a lot of sugar rushes on Halloween when I was younger.

Well anyways, this year I wanted to be Sandy. Ever seen Grease? Yeah I wanted to be her, especially since this year I dyed my hair blonde. I was set on being Sandy till the day before. I realized my hair is much longer than Sandy's and curling my hair wouldn't turn out as curled and perfect as hers. So I opposed it but thought of the whole black outfit theme, and went for being Dauntless. I was Tris Prior. The trunk or treat wasn't until later on that day so around 12 I went to Walmart to find a fake tattoo of birds. It's halloween and the year before they had them, so they should have some now right? WRONG. I couldn't find any so I just grabbed some aztec tattoos and called it good.

Then I got back and decided I needed to watch Divergent in order to get into character for that night to impress the kids. Do you know what I noticed once I opened the box to Divergent? A TATTOO OF THE BIRDS! So I said, alright cool now I don't need to worry about that. I proceeded to watch Divergent, I needed to take in every movement and become as confident as her. That is Dauntless people, never show fear. Well it was time for me to pack my stuff and head to my friends to get ready.

We went to my friend K.N's house, and my other friend K.V helped me get ready by curling my hair. Obviously in the movie she never has her hair done, and I was told plenty of times to look the part and just leave my hair, but I should at least look presentable because guys from our school would be there. Remember those bird tattoos I found in the dvd case? Guess what happened to them. I forgot them, of course. What did I do, you ask. We improvised, and made our own.

This was honestly the best thing I have ever experienced. I had finished getting ready early because I just wore black leggings, a black shirt, and my leather jacket. (Dauntless are all black), so we tried making an 'at home' tattoo. Before we tried this we traced it on paper, and K.N wanted to free draw the birds on me. WRONG. So finally we found the 'at home' idea and tried it. Although it didn't work as well as we wanted it did work well enough to where we could see an outline of it. I joked and said this is my third official tattoo and sent my mother a snap chat saying "sorry mom". The funny thing is while I sent my mother the video I never looked at the birds, or at least never realized the birds. Half way with the second bird I heard chuckling. Hearing chuckling is never a good thing when your friend is drawing on you with a sharpie. I pulled out my phone and looked at the camera of it and realized the birds were HUGE. They were not proportional at all and ended up looking like blobs. We took a good 20 minute laugh from it, and settled with, they are kids it won't matter to much it's the idea.

(She was a Holy Cow)

While waiting on K.V and D to finish getting ready we played inside tennis with a nerf tennis racket and a small ball. We had to sadly end because K.N had a great idea of playing baseball and was mere centimeters from hitting my head. Finally everyone was done and it was time to go give kids candy. Although I was sad this year I couldn't go home and stay a kid and get candy myself, I did have a good time getting my third tattoo and almost getting hit with a ball.

(The Final Outcome)

"Fear doesn't shut you down. It wakes you up." -Four, Divergent.

Top must haves for College

As you all know, I am in College. This is my first year being in college, this summer I watched multiple youtube videos about girls saying what to bring and not to bring to college. This is my what to bring/not to bring to College.
1. Pillows.
But not to many, let's remember that you will have a twin size bed, mine currently is twin size not twin XL. The first week I was in college I had brought 2 pillow pets, 3 pillows, a body pillow, a chair pillow and a throw pillow. You see those cute pictures the girls have with the multiple pillows? Yeah not very comfy when your pillows take up all the room so you are half dangling off. I tried to wait a month to keep the pillows but once it hit a month I went home and took a bunch of pillows back. Bring at least a body pillow, and two pillows if you want to bring a chair pillow I would advice it because I like sitting on it while doing homework. If you don't like many pillows like my friend 1-2 will suffice, it all depends on your preference.
2. Blankets.
Same applies here with the pillows. Now I have my comforter, but I am a very hot natured person so I have just been sleeping with my very soft and comfortable throw blanket, but if I get really cold I use two. Usually by the end of the night they are thrown off, but none the less I use two sometimes. I brought all my blankets from my room with me to College, and like I said I only use two. The rest are on the shelf not being used and just using space. If you are a hot natured person like me just bring two throw blankets, and your comforter you will be good!
3. Clothes. 
I went to orientation at the beginning of summer so when I went to visit I rarely paid attention to every detail, instead I paid attention to the fact I was touring the college I would be going to in less than 3 months. That meant I thought my closet space was much smaller so the whole summer I was stressing about how I could make me have much more space for clothing and things like that. Pay attention to your closet space and if you have drawers, because my room was suppose to come with drawers but it never did which stressed me out a lot move in day. Also bring clothes that are necessary but don't bring them all because it still is small compared to the closet in your room!
A. Robe/Towels
This is super helpful! Trust me, I literally use my robe every time. I get out of the shower throw my robe on and go back to my dorm. I thought this summer 2 towels would not be enough. Seriously it's enough! I went to the store and got 5 towels, I don't even use all of them in the same month. I usually just grab the first one which is one of the towel wraps, making a total of 6 towels. Literally save room for other things and just bring 2 towels.
B. Dresses
Now for us girls it would be a duh moment to bring dresses, but for some people it isn't. My two friends didn't bring dresses because "I'm not dressing up". It is for much more than that, if you are thinking about going Greek, and rushing you will have to dress up every night. Or I know one of my friends has a business class and she has to wear business clothes; slacks, skirt, dresses every meeting. Bring nice clothes so when that does happen you will be prepared.
C. Pants
I don't know where you will be going to college at but look at the weather, where I am at the weather is never the same within the week. For example, last night it was lightning and thundering but today it was perfectly fine. This is a routine where I am, so just bring pants or sweat pants because the weather will be cold sometimes. Also if you were up until 2am like I was this morning typing your english paper, studying for your math test and doing a take home quiz for history and just all in all have a break down. Waking up 10 minutes before class and savoring every minute of sleep, is always good and grabbing sweats and a big shirt is also a plus.
D. Shirts
Bring shirts!!! They don't even have to be nice. I literally never had to worry about this problem last year because of color guard, I always got new shirts. I read somewhere not to bring high school shirts to college. What did that mean? The month before coming here I had to pack up my shirts and put them in a bag, of course I wasn't going to throw them away they are still a part of me. Anyways bring shirts though, it's okay if you sneak 2-3 high school shirts to College, no one will judge you. Along with normal shirts, bring cute dressy shirts. Some days you will go to sleep early and wake up feeling great and want to show the world that and what better way than dressing cute? Also if you ever just want to go somewhere with your friends, the next town over for dinner, the movies, the zoo, anything, you will be prepared for pictures.
4. Drawers.
So like I said my room was suppose to come with drawers, but never did. Well buying drawers is always helpful. My dorm is not one of the ones where the bed can be moved up or down, but if you do have one of those you can always put the drawers under your bed to where you have them right there so easy for when you wake up and can grab things. My roommate and I both have two and they are super helpful since we don't have actual drawers.
5. Electronics
I am not saying bring every electronic item you have. You won't have room. I had planned on bringing my tv this year but I have no room to put it so it is sadly at my house which means every sunday I will be missing Once Upon A Time. Just bring your necessities; laptop, phone, tablet. I usually just use my phone or laptop for things for school, or the library. I brought my camera and my tablet but I hardly use either because I never have time, I am always so busy.
6. Kitchen Ware
Before you buy anything in this category talk with your roommate and look in your dorm. Our room comes with a refrigerator and a microwave. Also my roommate brought a Kurieg so we were set there. A really great thing I advice you to get is plastic forks, spoons, and knives as well as cups and plates. Literally when you are on your busy schedule and just come to your room to eat soup for 15 minutes then rush back to class it will be helpful to just be able to throw everything away rather than leaving it there soaking up germs and waiting for it to be clean.
7. Food!!
Can I just say WAIT TO BUY FOOD UNTIL YOU GET THERE. Move in day it was just my mom and I because my brother had band. My mom and I got up at 5 in the morning so we could be here by 7am We were very tired and carried everything in just one trip. If we didn't bring the food until I was settled in that would have helped so much. Please, do not buy food until you are settled in, it will make everything so helpful. Also when you have to actually adult for the first time by yourself, do not grab food. Do not grab those animal crackers with icing or the chips that will just call your name at night and hold true to the Freshman 15 myth. Don't do it. Instead think rationally. Will you be able to eat this and will it actually fill you up and last you longer than the junk/snack food that you are eyeing. The first time I adulted and went to get my own food I just grabbed snacks because I eat on campus. Boy was I wrong, sometimes I don't want the school food I want the food I bought, because otherwise it would go to waste, but what I bought is snacks and I want an actual meal. Also if you happen to have a kitchen in your dorm use that to your advantage! Try to learn how to cook so you can be able to be independent.
8. Shower
Along with the towels and the robe an important necessity for the shower is a shower caddy and please don't forget SHOWER SHOES. That is very important. I see so many girls who just go to the bathroom without shoes, and I understand that there are people who clean them weekly, or daily or two times a week or whatever, but would you take your shoes off to go to the public bathroom? No. Please don't do it here, that is just gross to me to not where shoes where other girls have repeatedly stepped in and their shoes have been everywhere then stepped on the floor, just please don't do it.

You are more than welcomed to bring whatever you like to make yourself feel at home because you will be here for quite some time, but just remember that there will be a bunch of people going in and out of the dorms grabbing things so just keep in mind the necessities and things you can go without. Decoration is key but do that after you get moved in, trust me it will be so much better.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

Dear partying roommate,

I am beyond glad that you, just like many others, are enjoying yourself at college. College is something new and exciting and it's where we learn to create ourselves, I understand. But at the same time this is where we grow up, and find ourselves and our future soul mates.

You don't want to be labeled as something right off the back freshman year, do you? I didn't think so. You may think you're "cool" for going out and partying every weekend, but trust me you are not. You are not cool for stumbling in at 5am and waking up at 7pm. In fact you are annoying. I just want you to know that you have a roommate and you have other people to think about besides yourself. Please be courteous to others, and to me. I have class just like you but unlike you I don't go to class and go back to sleep, I try really hard to get good grades and don't blow college off.

You will one day grow up and realize life isn't a game or party. You will make life decisions and become an adult. Don't waste your life by partying or don't ruin it by just one careless act. 

College is more than partying and being young stupid teens. It's where we will become adults and our own person. It's where we could meet our future spouse. It's where we will meet our best friends and find our future bridesmaids. It's where we learn that family is importt, especially if you live away from home. It's where it decides your future.

You don't want your future to be a "I should have tried harder in college" life.

Wake up! Realize that going to parties all the time gets old especially since you are underage! Realize you have a roommate and you have people who are here to get an education. College isn't just for partying. I know some people who never party, which is actually all my friends, and I like it that way. In fact I have never gone to a party till the first week of college and Halloween and I can strongly say that is not my scene and I will not be going back anytime soon. My ideal of partying is Netflix. 

I understand some people think getting beyond wasted and waking up at 7pm is fine, but I personally disagree. Especially if you have a roommate, it really bothers me when I have to study in the hall because my roommate is hung over. If you like to party and you're 18 and you already have a problem with alchol fix youself, change your ways and focus on your goals. Then when you're 21 and able to drink have small parties with you and your friends to where no harm no foul.

Please stop strolling in late and waking up late. Please understand and remember why you came to college, it certainly wasn't fm to party and get wasted enough to not remember what you did the night before.

Sincerely,

A girl who cares about her education.

"I don't want to party my life away. If you aren't living for something, you are wasting your life away." Elizabeth Kaiser. 

A Couple Things Every Girl Should Know

There are things that every girl should know in their lives. As humans everyone gets so insecure with themselves that nothing will help that. Girls as well as men should hear everyday how amazing or wonderful they are. Somethings getting heard that they are beautiful is not always helpful, but it does bring our self-esteem up a little bit.
Here are a few things that should help every girl feel good about herself.
1. You are Beautiful
Please never forget this, because no matter what you are truly beautiful.
2. You are Unique
There is no one like one, nor will there ever be anyone like you. You are yourself and wonderfully made and specifically made to be just yourself, embrace it.
3. Be Confident
No one can tear you down unless you let them. If you ignore the haters they won't get to you, as girls we are so insecure but once we embrace our flaws nothing will tear us down just build us up.
4. You are Wonderfully Made
God made you with his own hands out of his own image and he thinks of you as something beautiful so start believing in that as well. You are wonderfully made by something awesome.
5. You are Perfect
Yeah you may have flaws but besides that you are perfect, and someone out there agrees with me. Just accept your flaws and agree that you are perfect.
6. You are Loved
I know this is something a lot of people have trouble hearing, but it is true. You are loved, you are loved by your parents, your family, your teachers, your co-workers, your friends, you are loved. If by the end of the day you still don't think you are loved look to the sky and towards the Heavens and think of this amazing person, God, and know he truly loves you.
7. You are more than Your Flaws
Everyone has flaws, and imperfections that they don't like about themselves. Everything that you hate someone else may love, and all those "flaws" make you who you are. Don't forget that, just embrace it and love your flaws because once you embrace it, it will become your strength.
8. Accept your Mistakes
Mistakes make us human, you are above the mistakes. Mistakes happen they are in the past you can't change it but just accept it and move on. I focus on the mistakes but you shouldn't just realize what happened, understand it and go on.
9. Breathe
This is not necessarily for just girls but for everyone. Breathe, we get so wrapped up we forget to slow down, calm down, enjoy the view and breathe. Just do it. Who cares who's watching breathe.
10. Don't wear make up.
It's okay if you love make up no one is judging you, in fact I congratulate you! I can hardly wake up an hour before class every day to wear make up so congrats, but sometimes it's okay to take it off and show your natural beautiful face. Don't feel judged remember number 1? You're beautiful.
11. Dance!
Please don't be afraid to dance, like ever. I have a problem with this one because I am so insecure that I don't want to dance I don't want people to watch me. But who cares? If you are with your friends or people you trust or even by yourself, don't be ashamed to put music on, or not, and do a dance. In the end it will make you feel good and that's all that matters.
12. You are more than beautiful.
I know many times we want to be called beautiful, because it is much more meaningful than pretty. Don't just stop there, don't let someone compliment you just your face. Let someone call you passionate, or exhilarating, something besides just beautiful. Let them, have them, compliment you on more than just your beauty.
13. It's okay to not be "talented"
Just like dancing it's okay not to be great at. If you love to write, or dance, or sing, or be creative then do it! Who cares if someone can do it better than you, that's them. They are enjoying something they love so you should also! Talent is overrated singing off key or dancing crazy in public is much more awesome.
14. It's okay to be crazy!
Be wild, be crazy. You're only your age once, so live it up. Don't rush to be an adult and have responsibilities just wait and soak up as much craziness as you can. Be loud, outgoing and just have fun. Dye your hair if you want, to purple or to blonde, or to blue. It's okay being crazy because you can be!
15. Dressing like a slob is okay!
If you feel like wearing sweats and a hoodie or big shirt, do it! Do it! You don't always have to wear cute clothes, it's alright to feel comfortable every now and then.
This is your life and nobody can tell you what to do unless you let them. Do what you want and live how you want. Be spontaneous, be cool, be fun, be adventurous, be crazy, be weird, be you!
"Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you."

I went Greek and now I'm a sorority girl

I have been a lot busy lately, the reason being the title. I rushed!! For fellow sisters out there, hello! I am a freshman in college, so the week I moved into the dorm and the start of school was rush week. Can I tell you how crazy it was? Because it was! I was nervous because we walked so much and did so much that I was nervous and kept asking myself "what did you get yourself into?" But anyway let's start from the beginning.
So let's start with how shy I am. VERY. I was at orientation and my mom forced me to stop at every organization and talk and put my name down. I of course did not want to do that, but once we got to the "Go Greek" table part of me was excited. I kind of always wanted to be a sorority girl but sometimes on movies you see this "image" of a sorority girl and I am defiantly not that image. My mom was talking to some girls while I just looked at the pictures and saw how much fun the girls looked like they were having, so I put my name down and looked horrified when I gave it to them.
"Not so bad, huh?" My mother asked.
I smiled and we kept walking. Luckily for me that was the end of orientation which meant we would be driving home and I had all summer to debate over joining or not, or so I thought.
A month later I got an email saying I need to verify my information and if I did want to rush I need to put my name down. Well not everyone gets in. NOT EVERYONE GETS IN. When I rushed there was over 200 girls rushing with me and I didn't know anyone there. Only about half or less would make it. I decided maybe I should rush this is a great way start college and maybe make a few friends along the way.
So here goes the whole moving into the dorm and having to talk to the rho gammas about rush week. Well the first night I signed in and took a seat, remember the 200+ girls? Yeah all different girls from so many different places, with so many different accents, and all wanting a specific sorority. The President of all the sororities went up there to talk and repeated and stressed "You may not get the sorority you want, some of us didn't but we are still here and you can always rush again." How frightening, 1) I might not even get picked at all or 2) I may not like the sorority I get picked. After that she explained everything that was going to happen that week. Dress up, dress up, dress up. Talk about yourself and don't leave anything out, you are trying to make an impression but at the same time stay true to yourself.
So the first night we went to visit all 4 of the sororities, now my campus is not as big as others, but for a freshman and it is your first week and YOUR IN HEELS, it is pretty big, especially since we did walk all over campus. We went to see the girls in each sorority as well as see their units (Since ours do not have their own houses). The next night was the sororities that asked you to come back. I had gotten invited back to two, which made me really happy. Why? Remember how shy I am? Well I made a great impression being myself that two sororities liked me. That made me feel very happy and once it was all done I ran to my dorm to call my mom and told her.
The third night was the last night and that was the night only 1-2 will chose you and it was the most serious night because these girls could possibly be your sisters. The only problem was if you were invited back it does not automatically mean you get in that sorority. I got invited back to one last sorority. I went there and bonded with some of the girls there and felt at peace, but they were the new sorority so there was not that many girls compared to the other. I went back to my dorm and that night I just kept repeating their chants over and over so part of me felt like that was what was suppose to happen in my life.
The next morning if you got a call that means you did not get a bid and I heard that some people got calls. I on the other hand did not know that was a thing and thought even if you didn't get a bid you just go there and they tell you at the door, the call was a smarter idea. Like I said I didn't know about the call, so when I got to the meeting area some girls were discussing how some of their best friends got the calls and I asked what calls. I rushed towards my phone and scrolled through the calls and did not find an unknown number so I was relieved. I got a bid.
My line was up next. It was my turn. I get a bid. I called my mom right before, "Mom should I do this or not?"
"Yes, of course!" She said.
I smiled took the envelope and opened it. I got in a sorority.
Me! The weird, quiet, shy, awkward girl got a bid. After that we had to guess which sororities the rho gammas were in. Once that was all done we ran to our new home, our new family, with our new sisters.
Rushing was stressful, having to dress up all week and figuring out how to schedule class and homework around walking around viewing sororities, but in the end it was all worth it. I am a new and proud member of Alpha Sigma Alpha and I would not trade my experience or my sisters in for the world. They have all become a part of me and if I did not join I would be a bum laying on my bed watching netflix on day.
If any of you reading this debates on rushing, DO IT! You will meet friends whether you get in or not but most importantly if you do get in then you will become sisters for life and that's the best thing, and so much more, I have so far gotten out of my sorority. 
"Give a girl the right pair of shoes, and she can conquer the world. Give a girl a bid, and she will not have to do it alone."

What's Important in LIfe

Think about what's important in life is a big question that when you ask a group of people not one of those people's answers will be the exact same. Importance is something that has to having meaning and some things are more important than other things to people. For me it is happiness. To someone else it may be love or money or knowledge.
To me though I think happiness is a broad term that could fit within all those ideas; love, money, knowledge... Another thing that is Important is faith and belief. Not just in God which is a good thing to do because as someone who grew up in a religious home God is something that is important in life but also faith/belief in oneself.
Now a days teens, or everyone, have a hard time being successful. Not only that but believing in themselves. We grew up in a different time period than our parents. We grew up with technology that lets us have to ways to get answers to the homework but also a struggle to pay attention in class because of the wide range of social media the internet now has. Our parents don't understand the struggles we face now because we are teenagers and are so dramatic right? We broke up with our first crush and that's the end we will never find someone again. We made a F the test we thought we did amazing on that's it I am not going to College.
Because teens are so dramatic and just assume the worse rather than thinking thinks out from all different directions and thinking rationally we just give up on ourselves and stop caring. That is why we go for mediocrity because we just doubt ourselves and don't put faith in ourselves. That needs to change.
The important things in life to me is having faith in myself. It should always be like that and it should not change. I am not saying be a confident person who is rude because it is okay to be confident, especially in this world, but not rude. To becoming faithful and essentially happy with yourself you have to surround yourself with people that build you up. The people who are your "friends" or people who you hang out with are what you essentially are going to be. If you surround yourself with slackers who don't want to do anything then that is what you will start to do. If you surround yourself with people who challenge themselves and push you to do your best then you will become better than what you ever imagined.
Last year I was surrounded by people who were smarted than me, which is not unusual, and when it came time to check our GPA they always got 4.0's and higher. I always got a 3.5-3.8 and was always ashamed to have that grade because I felt like a dumb person. This year I have a 4.0 which I am extremely proud of. Since I surrounded myself with people who were smarter than me it pushed me to become smarter and push myself to becoming better than what I was.
"Work Hard, Dream Big."
"No one is in charge of your happiness but you."

When did Skinny become fashionable?

Dear, Girls, or perhaps even guys,
I saw this post on tumblr that had a billboard that asked the question: "When did skinny become fashionable?"
It made me think. When did the idea that if you are skinny you are in fashion? I am not degrading people who are skinny, I know that skinny is an awesome feeling because you worked hard to get there or you just have metabolism so nothing it wrong with being skinny. But to me, there is a problem with being too skinny, the people who are not comfortable with their own body so they refuse to eat and so they eat and throw it up or they don't eat at all and they are as skinny as their bones because that's all that is consuming them now, not much skin there anymore. That is what I'm talking about, when did that become fashionable? When did we, as a society, say "Girls if you look like that, then you are beautiful and guys will like you." When did that happen?
I currently am a freshman in College and have you ever heard the saying "College 15?" Yeah I have. And to be honest, I am terrified. I am scared that I will eat to much that I will not recognize my body, so I hardly eat. It's hard because I stock up on food every month and just see the delicious food staring at me but instead of eating I will do other things- some good, some bad; for example, I will watch netflix (that has consumed my life), or I will do homework, or I will take a walk around campus. Sometimes though I do cave in, but I now understand that's good. Not necessarily as many times a day as I want, but it is okay to eat that second cookies sometimes or eat the ice cream. It is okay.
Fashion is not skinny but rather what you make of it. Earlier this month my friend and I went to the mall to go get a dress for a meeting. My friend is a couple sizes smaller than me so when we tried clothes on it was hard for me to be happy with what I was wearing because like most girls, "It didn't fit my curves", or "I look fat", or the popular one for me, "My boobs look to big in it". When we went to the meeting later on that day, I wore that dress. The other girls at the meeting looked at me and said "That dress is so cute on you", and other compliments as well. They didn't notice that my curves didn't look good in the dress, or the fact that my boobs looked huge in it compared to other dresses, they saw me and a dress. They saw a girl who is trying to fit societies idea of fashion and to them I looked pretty and I felt it because I was dressed up like I was suppose to be and I was curved and all.
To whoever is reading this; skinny, curvy or not- you are beautiful. You are the way God wanted you to be, if you want to be skinner then there are gyms everywhere but if you like what you see (which you should and it's hard but just try) then embrace everything about yourself. If you are shopping and you find yourself looking at a shirt, dress, or pants or any other item that looks appealing to you get it! Who cares if it's not a size S or M you find it awesome and that's what the makers want you to think because they thought it was awesome too. I have trouble with that, I see outfits and think "No it would be better on a girl smaller." You are the girl, or guy, smaller. You can fit in it just as much as I can and the difference between the smaller people and you… is confidence. Be proud of your weight and that you are embracing it with an awesome fashion sense and you don't care who is watching. One of my favorite quotes it "Every day is a fashion show, and the world is your runway." I for one will start to embrace my body, slowly of course, and I will try to become confident because fashion is my way of speaking sometimes and I want people to know I am confident and I have a good sense of style in whatever I am wearing.
"People will stare. Make it worth their while." -Harry Winston
"Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak."- Rachel Zoe

Dear High School Seniors

Dear High School Seniors,
Step back. Take a minute. Breath. Enjoy this. Enjoy these last'; last first day, last first game, last homecoming, last game, last homecoming dance, last prom... Just breathe and enjoy your view.
Once you get to College things will change. You aren't the same person you were when you stepped foot in high school let alone the same person you will be when you step out. Enjoy every moment you have. Because in a few months you will walk the stage, and it will be of the best moments of your lives, believe me, but it will be quick and everything you rushed through seemed pointless. So don't rush, slow down and absorb everything. Moments with your siblings, your parents, your family, your friends, everything. After a couple months you will soon be forced to pack memories up and take them to a strange place where you don't know people and are forced to make new memories and new friends. You won't have that same group of friends because it feels like they are half way across the world, and your only way of communication to your family is phone calls and Facebook because you will be so busy.
Dear high school senior, enjoy everything. When you are thinking of staying home and studying or going to watch that movie with your best friends; chose the ladder of the two. You will still have that grade, but you won't have that time to be with friends or family.
College is here. College is waiting for you and it's exciting and fun, but wait. Take your time and be a kid as long as you can because you only have now, and once you get to graduation and see the people you have known for so long in caps and gowns and realize you will soon leave them, you will wonder where the time has gone, so please take your time and enjoy your last's because once you get into College you'll be happy you enjoyed the little moments with people who mattered.
"Today is your day. You're off to great places. You're off and away!" Dr. Seuss

Why books are always better than the movies

Have you ever heard that? Books are so much better than the movies. Why? Well there are a lot of reasons.

1. You Get All The Background.
Usually the books are so much bigger. Even if they are a book that happens to just have about 100 or so pages the book is filled with so much more information in that 100 pages than there are in the actual movie. When you read the book you get all the information the author wanted you to know.

2. You Get A Special Bond.
I don't know about you but when I read I feel a sort of bond with the book. I feel like I am the character, and what happens to them is in fact happening to me. I feel the love, the pain, the heartache. I feel the emotions, the drama, the action that the character goes through. I sometimes would even mourn if someone died in the book. Example; The Fault In Our Stars, I cried (literally) the last 100 pages.

3.It Is What You Want It To Be.
Examples? "I saw the most beautiful girl in the whole world. She is more fathomable than I could ever imagine her to be possible. Her beautiful brown hair was blowing carelessly in the wind but that didn't bother her at all, she kept walking with her head held high laughing. Her laugh I know that I will always remember that laugh, it was as loud as a lion's roar but more elegant and just hearing it made me, as well as the people around us, laugh. Her eyes were breath-taking. Even from as far away as I am I could see so much of her soul in those hazel eyes, they had so much life and so much hope..." Now I'm not a boy, and I don't know if a boy would ever say these things but I am a girl and would hopefully want a guy to look at me this way. Even so, did you picture someone? I had pictured a girl standing in a field picking flowers with friends, you perhaps could have pictured her in New York, or France or anywhere else. You could have pictured her anywhere with just that paragraph until you got more details. Also the girl you see she could have freckles, a scar, a mole; anything you had envisioned her to have. That's the greatest thing about books- you have imagine whatever YOU want to imagine because it's something you read and within the reading world it's your own and it paints pictures in your head.

Yes movies are amazing, I agree. I love movies, I am a movie fanatic I watch anything and everything that I find interesting. I am not bashing on movies and the producers or directors. Not in the least bit, I am just saying that movies do not do the book, no the story, justice. Movies are somewhat on a time frame. Obviously you don't want to be in a movie theater watching the same movie for as long as you read the book. (If you happen to read fast then the pain would really start adding up about time wise.) Movies are usually around 2 hours long and if it's more the producers will half it into parts. So the timeframe has everyone rushing to tell the story. Hence the missing of the background, the background isn't important. Why? Because they believe people read the book, or if not then it won't matter because they tell enough of the story that it doesn't matter. WRONG!! Every piece matters; if you don't use every piece in a puzzle you can't see all of the picture. Same for movies. Also there isn't that much of a bond between the movie and the person. I read the Divergent series and when I read it, it was as if I was Beatrice and I was doing the action. I was calling the shots, I felt like I was a girl who could be intelligent, honest, selfless, brave, and I could break through the system and not be bound by someone's idea of me. I thought of all of that because I read the book. Don't get me wrong the movie is actually really good and the special effects is good, but I realized I wasn't the girl I thought I was compared to when I read the book. The book told me I was Beatrice the movie showed me I wasn't. Speaking of special effects; movies use all this money and time doing special effects for the movies. When I read there is no money into my imagination just time and reading. I just read the words that magically flow from the page and once they enter my mind they become their own world and I don't need a screen to see what you could at a theater. When I read I picture things so differently than how they come out at the movies. Once it flows off the page it is in my mind forever and it is in it's on place as if it's a memory as if it really happened to me. It's like I can actually see the dinosaur that is being described, or the gorgeous ball gown and when the girl goes to the magical ball I can see the room she is in with all the girls dressed up as gorgeous as her and I can see the happiness in that page. The girl surrounded by people that just fill the noise, and she thinks that they don't matter but without them there the room would be empty and not as extravagant as it is. I can actually feel like I am there in my own world just by reading it. I picture a girl taller, or shorter, less awkward, or more independent. That's the best thing about reading. That's why I love reading. I can read it and I can see someone who is just like me, or someone who is totally opposite from me and someone else who read it read it in a way that I didn't and interpreted differently than I did and imagined a girl like them, or a girl differently. I love reading because it lets' me know that there are people who still have an imaginative mind like me. Who still believe that there could be a dragon and Princess but this story this Princess saves herself and finds herself and a boy isn't even in the story. Or the boy is found in trouble and is sentenced to go to school at a Dance place and he finds out he loves dance. Or art and instead of becoming a Doctor like his dad said he becomes an artist and finds himself and his self-worth and his love of art that way. Books, reading they tell me a story and I can imagine with it and think of a future the story can hold. I love reading because I can be a million different people and all I have to do is open a book and read.
"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads only lives one." -George Martin

Summer Activites

Having trouble thinking of what to do this summer? Here is a helpful list that should make your summer fun!
Swimming is something you can always do, in my opinion. You can do so much swimming; depending on how big the pool is you could do laps, which is motivation for exercise as well as improving your swimming. Another thing you could do is bring a hoop and play basket ball in the pool. Honestly my friends and I will sometimes do hand stands in the pool or see who can hold their breath underwater longer. Along the lines of doing laps you can do laps with your friends and see who is faster at swimming; another thing I do with my friends. You can close your eyes and play Marco-Polo.
Besides swimming there is a lot of sport activities. For example, Basketball at your local park, or even a school. Soccer is another good one, just grab a ball- a couple of friends- and head to an empty field and start playing soccer. Football is another one it's kind of like Soccer except with hands but still; friends and a ball. Tennis is another fun activity you can play, my school hosted a after-graduation party and it was at the College close to the school. In the College there is a gym type thing with a bunch of activities to do, if where you live has a gym or anything like that I advice investing in a membership there because it is fun! Anyways, (off topic sorry) my friends and I played RacketBall and it was the best thing! We didn't exactly know how to play, but who cares the point is that you are with your friends and even though you may have a couple bruises in the morning by "accidentally" hitting them it's okay because those will be the stories you tell your children! The stories you tell them so that they can have stories to tell their children. Any outdoor sport is fun during the summer, if you are on a low-budget or no budget then just use a ball you have at home and you can always find a park, or school that's close to you, and use that to your benefit.
Another way you can have fun outside is by having a sleepover, one of two ways. You can act like you are in middle school again and give each other make overs and be a kid again. Or someone could bring a tent and camp out in one of you, or your friends, backyard and act like you're camping. You could make s'mores, tell old "ghost" or scary stories, sing campfire songs, or look up and admire the stars.
If you like skating then you could always grab your skates and go skating around a park, your neighborhood, or go to a skating arena.
Also bowling is a good choice, bowling alley's are always fun. You and your friends could all go to the bowling alley and play in teams against each other.
If you're are reading this and thinking "this girl is crazy! I do not do any outdoor activities whats-so-ever then here are some indoor activities you can do that don't even have to be inside. (That's the good thing about Indoor activities; is that it could be hot or cold and it has no effect on you personally because you're indoors, I don't know about you but I think that's kind of AWESOME!)
Indoor activities consist of a lot of things, some things you just have to use your imagination. You can always do DIY projects; there is so many that this post would go on and on and on... but here are a couple that you can always do that are on top of my mind. You can paint mason jars (which a lot of people have started to do), I painted mason jars and bought chalk board tags stickers, if that makes sense? It's little stickers that are chalk board, and you can put "make up", "Savings", "Road Trip money" "Pens and pencils" "make up brushes" and endless more. If you have an abundance of pictures (like me because of English) then you can do a bunch of different shapes on your walls. My walls are kind of "shiny" I guess they are not soft and easy for things to be placed- tape- so Mounting Putting is always a good thing to have if your walls are like mine! You can make a heart out of the pictures, or if you have extra christmas lights or you want to go out and buy christmas lights (even if it's not christmas time they usually sell "garden" lights: it's the exact same thing as christmas lights just not as much so instead of buying one box with 100 or more lights you buy one with about 80 but you still have christmas lights and there are variety of different types.) Then you can use clothes pins and hang pictures up like that. Or if you happen to have a decent size picture frame you can use string, twine, anything really and tape it to each side of the frame in a row going down and hang pictures that way. You can go get letters from any craft store and can paint them any color you would like and hang them on your walls. Another idea along those lines are if you have a bunch of magazines look through them and choose a bunch of pages that you absolutely love the background of, then find a favorite quote, cut the letters out by tracing it on your computer, printing and tracing or free handing it. Then use some mounting putty and your room will be decorated!
Okay enough DIY's lets get into activities. A good way to entertain yourself is by watching your favorite movie if it happens to be a series you can use the whole day by watching ever single movie in that series. You and your friends could also grab a bunch of board games and one person could chose which one to play and the winner can chose the next one. That could go on until you guys get bored and then switch to another cool activity to do.
Also something fun is painting, getting some canvases and painting some pictures. It would be a good keep-sake to remember the fun day you and your friends had.
I hope that this post gave you some fun ideas to do with your friends, and make your summer this year FANTASTIC! You don't really even have to do anything with your friends besides be there with your friends. Take it from me, my friends and I will plan something out and try to do it but once we are all together the plan changes. It's not bad because the whole point is all the memories you will make, and keep to tell others about.
"The tans will fade but the memories will last forever...." -Unknown

The grey zone

What exactly is the grey zone? The grey zone is the middle of things. My government teacher always talks about "black and white zones". Sure of course there is right and wrong, but there is always a middle zone in life. Not necessarily for decision making like right and wrong but just life in general. People take the grey zone two different ways.
First people think the grey zone as being something bad. They think of it as a pinch of freedom, I mean you're out of the dark zone and you're heading to the good zone, but you're not there yet. An example of this is; being at a beach but you have the rule of not swimming for thirty minutes after eating so you just step your toes in so you don't get a cramp. You get a taste of the water and you just want to go in more and swim and enjoy yourself in the hot summer. That's the grey zone something you can see and touch but can't have at the moment because you're not done with the dark zone yet. You are almost there you're so close to the finish line but you have to wait. Wait for the better things to come, wait for the thirty minutes before you can go in, wait for the light to come in. Some people see the grey zone as the waiting zone.
Others see it as the accomplished but not yet finished zone. When you are younger you have to take an art class. When you try to paint and you don't want to use red instead you want to use pink but there's not any, what do you do? You have to make it. You use a bunch of white and a drop or two of red. Then you make pink. You have more of the good zone in you than the bad zone. You have accomplished things. You've lived, yes you've made mistakes but you didn't let the darkness consume you. You have more of the brighter light in you. It's not a inch of freedom. Instead it's all freedom and the darkness is still there but it doesn't have to be if you won't let it.
Nobody has a life of all good or all bad. They have "their days". Meaning they have good and bad days. No one is perfect. No one can always be in the white or black zone. They will have their days in both and that is okay. "Everybody wants happiness nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain." In order to have one thing you have to have the other.
There has to be a grey zone because you can't just have a good day and then have a bad day. Or vice versa. If someone is having a bad day and think that life is rough it takes them a couple days to recover and then become happy again. It's a process not something that just happens over an hour.
Grey zones can be seen differently with a negative or positive connotation but there is a grey zone. Either way you look at it, it is success. You have moved on from the black zone and heading to the white zone. You are away from the darkness and going to the light. If you think you are still in darkness you are right. If you think you are consumed by the light you are right. Both are correct and that's why the grey zone is horrid and wonderful all at the same time.